99 Problems, You are every one.

4 am.

6 cups of coffee, 1 paper, 2 bulletins, 2 drasically different and equally fulfilling conversations, and soon to be 1 blog post down. I'd say a very productive all nighter, considering the 3 part Criminal Analysis paper I just emailed in to my professor was due 10 hours ago.

What better setting than my dark living room, soft glow of the television after the cable box has gone to sleep, and the sounds of various choice songs coming softly out of my laptop to write up this post?

Unfortunately, the crack-like symptoms brought on by the shotgunning of strong brew causes my hands to twitch like MJF in an earthquake and my thoughts to be as coherently solid as a Salvador Dali timepiece.

I want to put something interesting here. I want to entertain you. I can't. I'm not sorry so much as I it occurs to me after failing several times to put something of sustance here that I really don't frakking care about your amusement at this moment. In fact it is now my volition to offend you, and I'm going to try to reach out to as many people as possible to do this. Only those who either understand me very well or are as frakking apathetic as me will not be offended, and to you I say, fuck off.

I hate blacks. They act something special. You're not. You're just another dumb nigger who thinks you deserve respect because your relatives hundreds of years ago were taken advantage of by white men. Hey, we developed our brains faster than your dumb asses, get over it.

Women need to stop complaining about every little thing. News-fucking-flash, men do not give a shit about any of your problems. We have problems of our own and most of them are trying to provide for your money grubbing whore self. The other problems are trying to figure out how to get away from your crazy bitching. And we don't by your "period" story. At least try to find another excuse, that one's been used up and we are sick of hearing it, and yes your sister is hotter than you.

Foreigners... Just stay the fuck out of our country. Keep your goddamned problems to yourself. If you can't make enough money because your nation is poor and dirty and leeching off of ours, remember this, in only a few hundred years we made our country one of the most prosperous in the world. You've had a lot longer and you still you fail at life. Trying to deal with your shitty country has brought ours into an economic regression. Thanks a fucking lot. And terrorists, get a better fucking hobby, the world doesn't give a shit about your struggle from oppression. We have to put up with blacks and we never crashed a plane into your shitstorm of a country.

I think all organized religion is a complete joke. Seriously I laugh at you. There is no God, how the hell can you believe that fairy tale? Do you belive in Santa and Godzilla too? Look at science, theres documentable and quantifiable proof that we decended from a monkey, which decended from a fish... Are you really stupid enough to believe a book written by a guy doing some ancient form of pot? You should join the closest cult and drink the punch, please. (Sidenote: This is a pathetic jab at religion I know, but I'm trying to move quickly, back the fuck off)

Your baby is ugly, I don't care what you think or what people tell you. Same goes for your fat ugly ass.

Anyone who has ever looked at a teenage girl and gotten an erection, I have nothing to say to your perverted ass, I agree.

I have no problems fucking your girlfriend, I'll even tell you about it. Your girlfriends pussy is dank though, you can thank me for that one.

Your girlfriend is also a bitch, and if she wasn't offering me her sweet pussy, my fist would be making frequent trips to her face. Keep that bitch in line, please.

We are not causing global warming, the Earth is coming out of an ice age, of course it's going to warm up, we contribute neglibly to this effect. Litter more, drive harder, and kill penguins.

Abort your fetuses. We don't need any more kids sucking up our resources.

Republicans suck.

If you were offended by anything here, you are more hebetudinous than I previously claimed. Hang youself, post it on youtube, that's what all you little whiny faggots do these days.

How did I forget faggots? Don't marry, please. You disgust everyone around you. An entire population of you has AIDS for a reason. If there was a God, that would be Him telling you to die.

If I missed you, I apologize. Please feel free to be offended, regardless.

I masturbated at some point during typing this.

I hope this comes back to bite me in the ass.